Sunday, October 23, 2011

Return, and introductions

Dear me, look at the clock!  Well over a month has passed since my last post.  And of course, naturally there's NOTHING more important than keeping what is essentially a public diary up to date...Well, let's go over the events in order, shall we?

Firstly, though I am quite late here, Konaa paid me a little visit.  Sadly, I must say he is quite the poor houseguest.  That was quite the painful injury to recover from, but I have my ways, you see.

Only a few days later I ran into him and we had tea.   The Tall Master sought to end it early, however, and who am I to refuse?  

Next, I assisted the Tall One in capturing his little bird.

And as you likely know, his lady friend had to bail him out of the Hallowing. Though he proved quite resistant...

To catch up to recent events, Konaa has met my team.  I must say, they are an extraordinary group of youngsters, aren't they.  Allow me to formally introduce them!  Come on, don't be shy!  No no, use a different font each, be stylish about it!


Eloquent fellow, isn't he?  I named him that because, well, that's what he is. Between you and me, naming him Creative or Sensitive would've been nicer but quite dishonest.

Boss, what?  I already introwha ARGH okay.  SHIFT.  I hack shit and I can phase through walls.  Long story.  It fuckin' hurts.  Am I done?  Good.

Jade doesn't seem to be responding to my calls...Aah, teenagers.  They're all alike, moody to a fault.  We'll just go with my second in command, the woman who can handle these loose cannons while i'm away.  Valkyrie, m'deaaar?

What idiocy.  A "blog" is not even a proper word.  I am Valkyrie.  And if you encounter me, fear not.  I have made it my mission to show all I can the beauty of death, and I will exclude no one from this enlightening process.

And that, my friends, is Team Rhodes.  Obstruction's the muscle, Jade's the enforcer, Shift's the technical side, and the mysterious "Valkyrie" takes the role of my lieutenant.  I, myself, merely serve as the humble operations planner, and salary manager.  What was that, Shift?  Grumbling about how I don't pay you?  NONSENSE.  You're all still alive and relatively unhurt, yes?

That should wrap things up.  "But wait!" You cry, from your place on the ground, clinging to my leg.  "Where have you been for the last few weeks!  And please kill me painlessly!"

Well I'm in a considerably good mood, so I'll grant both your wishes!  (electrocution is painless, correct?)  ...Well, on second thought...The story of my absence is simply too good to share in one post.  Allow me to simply say for now that I was abroad...and more shall be revealed next time. 


  1. Yes, I've heard being dead can be quite the hassle. I was going to let it pass, but I must ask an old question...

    How exactly did a TANK manage to sneak up on you? Sleep with earplugs in, Rhodes?

  2. You're a sick fuck and we are going to kick your motherfuckin ass!

  3. What does looking at the clock have to do with a month passing? Shouldn't you have said "look at the calendar?"