Thursday, November 8, 2012

What is this, housework? ~Shift

So, yeah, it's Shift.  I ditched the stupid account - Rhodes just lets me use his anyway, and the less clunky switching between email addresses I have to do, the better.

Rhodes is gone.  Said he'd be gone for a while.  Told me that I'm in charge while he's not here!  Wow, thanks.  I'm in charge of a mute wrestler who just mopes in the corner all day, and a psychotic bitch who's obsessed with Heroboy and who tries to knife anyone who goes in her room.  Seriously.  Even Rhodes can't keep Jade under control 100% of the time.  It makes things...really difficult when he's not home.

Not that he cares.  Sure, dump me with the two people who only move at your command and who could both kill me without any problems.  Yeah, Obstruction won't, but that's probably just cause he hasn't had any thoughts of his own the whole time this "team" business started.

I never thought I'd say this, but I MISS Valkyrie.  She was just as crazy as everyone else here, but she kept order through her fear.  Jade was a lot more scared of her than she is of Rhodes, and maybe even a bit admiring.  With her in charge while the boss is away I never even got so much as stabbed.  These days, though, making me leader while he's gone is just another insult.

Man, why am I even bitching to you guys about this?  Whatever.  Rhodes wants me to update the blog while he's gone.  "With fucking what?"  I asked.  Then he went on and on about dramatic tension and how we'd "already spent way too much time keeping everyone in the dark!" with that faux cheerful smile on his face the whole time.  Or is it faux?  I can never tell with that guy.

Fuck this job.  But...It's better than being dead, that's for sure.  I have no clue why you idiots keep resisting.  It's just going to be more pain for you in the long run.

Monday, November 5, 2012

So I return from, frankly, a well earned vacation, and what do I find waiting for me?  A lovely little message on my blog.  Someone seems quite interested in including me in their little party, which I'm quite flattered by.

They even posed the same pawn/player question they gave June, but sufficed to say I wasn't fooled by a simple blank email address.  It's not so easy to hide from me, and I was able to find the person who's been typing this stuff out.  Sadly, not the greatest conversationalist I've ever met, rather like one of those dreadfully dull Hallowed folks.  But as I've got him with me right now, I figured I would send the lovely people organizing this event a little message.

Excuse me?  EXCUSE ME?  You are giving me a role?  You putrid sacks of FILTH!  The likes of YOU think that you determine MY destiny?  I don't think you understand how this works, here!  I'm not one of these blind idiots running around chasing whatever carrots you dangle in front of them.  I'm the man holding the cards, and I've got your number.

This little pawn of yours gave me a bit of entertainment, but there's only so many times you can smash a face against a desk before it gets dull.  So I figured I would take the time to address you before shutting down your connection to this world.

You think you're enigmatic?  It never changes with you.  You probably still think humans squat in wooden hovels and stone castles.  News flash: This whole cryptic disclosure bullshit is NOT working.  Not a single one of your "players" was impressed.  Even the ones following your bait aren't intimidated so much as annoyed at how unoriginal you are.

You think I don't know EXACTLY who you are, NEMESIS COUNTER!?  So you FINALLY decided to play your hand.  What's the matter, too SCARED of the man with the pale face?  Even now, you probably think everything's going according to your little schemes.  I'll bet you think that no matter what the outcome, nothing will change.

Well, this is a wake up call.  The gods themselves will not stop me.  If you ever, EVER, presume to command me again, the veils of time and space themselves will not shield you.  I will tear down your bastions, one by one, with fire, blood, rot, and decay, until every aspect of you lies before me, all illusions stripped.  And on that day, I will rip the beating hearts from your chests, one.  By.  One.

...Pffff...Hahahahahahahaha!  You know what?  Why not.  WHY THE HELL NOT!  You want me to play your little game so bad?  Wellll, I do feel a little bad, seeing as I make your doll here rack up quite the medical bill.  And it just so happens you've recruited a player or two that I'm most interested in.  So yeah!  Count me in!

Just don't expect me to play by your rules.