Saturday, April 14, 2012

Dear me where DOES the time go.

I'm practically becoming your typical blogger at this rate, most of my posts seem to address the sparsity of updates.  I do apologize for having better things to do than log all my actions for the public to behold.

But!  I'm here now, and I have a friend!  He's a little drowsy right now, blood loss does that.  Let me try to wake him.

Oh my.  I don't think he liked that at all.  Christ, but this fucker has a set of lungs.  Hey, watch it!  Don't bleed on the fucking suit!  ...Whew, you dodged a bullet there, pal.  You awake?  Great!  Here, just like we practiced, you're gonna talk to our friends here!

I'm Robert Loans, FBI.  I was trying to spy on Rhodes, who, incidentally, is infinitely dashing in his style of wardrobe, when he heroically intercepted me.  He is currently threatening me with death unless I reveal agency secrets to you all.  He has cut me with his knives fourteen tiairgnkij  FIFTEEN TIMES NOW! :D

I am part of a division of the FBI that does not officially exist.  It monitors paranormal activity, mainly that of "Slender Man" and those associated with.  Rhodes has instructed me to reveal that we are tracking as many known individuals who have come into contact with the Slender Man in any way.  If you have a blog, it is quite possible you have an agent assigned to trace you.


Rhodes just removed some of the teeth frrrgehlp six teeth exactly from my mouth because I was a little bitch who strayed from the script.  I was supposed to tell you that in some cases, the agent assigned to the individual has termination orders if the individual takes any action that may cause public awareness of Slender Man to rise.  He wants me to tell you that you are all being watched and that we know everything, but refuse to help you.  And that you're just as likely to be killed by us as you are them

what did I DO - Come now, what sort of sentence begins with "And?"

Politics these days!  How about em, Robbie?  ...Robbie?  Dear me, he's not moving.  Odd place to take a nap, but, I suppose I'll allow it, since he did what I asked.

Why did I want him to tell you all about those charming government suits and their nefarious plans?   Couldn't it simply be because I care for you all?

Perhaps not.  The first reason is simple.  They've been hunting me as if I were just another adolescent in a hoodie.  I wanted to be sporting, and show them exactly who they are dealing with.  When professionals are involved, I do not play games. You have been warned- I will not tolerate another such insult.

Of course, there's a second reason for just about everything.  I wanted this charming young man to explain the government policy to all of you out there who think they can escape, or fight back.

It's like this, runners.  You're not just being watched by one man in a suit.  It's many.  Our elected officials have apparently decided that you are a liability.  Let's face it, they're not far off.  You imbecilic little insects haven't even the slightest inkling of the game you are pieces in.  It's quite amusing, actually, like watching blind lab rats in a labyrinth.  Only instead of cheese, it's horrible mental trauma.

Now that you have the slightest idea...Let's see some fear.  Don't be shy.  Show me the look of a mouse as the trap closes around it.