Fucking hell.

Who the fuck said you could just come in here and tear everything to pieces, you crazy asshole? The Boss is dead, Obstruction's arm is fucked up, and most importantly, I have a couple of bruises and our hideout is wrecked! What the fuck are we supposed to do now?

Don't even get me started on the other members of the team. Big ole Obbie wasn't much of a talker before his injury but now he's making the countryside seem downright full of chatter. Jade creeps the fuck out of me, and so do those other two girls. What is it with the boss and his love of disturbing women?

So clearly it's up to me to decide what we do. And what we're doing is finding that little shit what put us out of a job and splitting his face open.

fuckfuckfuckheshere

a bulldozer

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET A FUCKING BULLDOZER

Introducing- Shift!

It's been so busy here lately, preparing for Mr. Reynolds' arrival and such. Dear me. At any rate, I'd like to introduce one of the little helpers I have around the house.

Oh, yes, I know, it doesn't seem like me to work with others, but the fact of the matter is minions are very useful. They take out the trash, wash the windows, kill anyone you don't want to bother with, they're simply quite the convenience. Without further ado, my right hand man, Shift!

Okay so the boss just handed me this keyboard and said I'd be updating the blog whenever he couldn't. I tried to object but then he gave me the "I would enjoy killing you" look so here I am. Great. Okay, the name is Shift. I'm a hacker by trade, and allow me to say fuck all of you. Nobody gives a shit about your melodrama, they'd rather you all just dropped off the face of the planet so your stupid fight doesn't have a chance of affecting them anymore. You're all a bunch of morons and assholes.

Great the boss is lecturing me about internet protocol. What the hell, boss, you send people to the crazy ward for fun. Ow, okay, he poked me with a knife for that one. Geez. Anyways, what I do is confidential. As is everything about me. I am not in the mood to talk to any of you jerks. Am I done yet?

Charming young man, isn't it? Like he said, he'll be updating the blog whenever I can't, so you can expect more from Team Rhodes with every waking moment! I expect a parade in my honor or fifty innocents will die.

Haha, just kidding.

You hope.

In other news!

It would appear that your beloved Schrödinger is dead.  Simply tragic.  Loss of life, particularly life so young, must always be mourned.  Especially when they likely died weeping and begging for mercy, for a swift death that would never come.  For rescue from the people they thought would save them but in actuality just failed somewhat pathetically to do anything at all.


Oh well!


Luke.  Oh, Luke, Luke, Luke.  We all knew you were a failure who never accomplished anything, but this is an all time low, even for you.  I mean, Elaine?  Of all people?  She already has a boyfriend, Luke.  And he's sort of a dimensional warping courier with a fucked up body.  Bit hard to compete with that.  Well, trash is trash, I guess.  Through and through.  Do us a favor and die in a corner somewhere where I don't have to clean it up.  That's about all you can accomplish at this point.

Last, but certainly not least,  I payed Nessa a little visit.  The poor dear and I had a nice long chat about the world, and the truth behind it.  I'm afraid...She did not react too well.  What happened to her?  Ha ha...that would be telling.  Much more exciting this way, wouldn't you say?

So much has been goin' my way lately!  And soon, I'll be ready to show you all something...Something I've been meaning to enact for a LONG time.  All the pieces are finally in place.  Now, come on, then, June.  Find me.  Kill me if you can.  Take the girl if she lives.  Take her from me!  Come on!  I'm WAITING ON YA, BUDDY!

Show me that determination!  That fiery, heroic spirit! Let me TEAR IT AWAY FROM YOU, INCH BY INCH!  Until you're just another broken, sad, WORTHLESS PILE OF FLESH!  HAHAHA!

Dear me, she's slipped away again

Upon tracking my quarry to New Orleans, I was faced with quite the dilemma- how to find one person who was trying very hard to hide in this enormous, sprawling heap of metal and flesh?  Well, be sure not to underestimate me, my friends- I can be quite persistent!  A couple days of inquiries and I had an address.


I tell you, this young lady is one of the hardest Runners I've ever hunted - and the irony is that she isn't even running from that dashing gentleman in black and white, but from a dashing gentleman in black and red.  Me, if you didn't know.  I'm unsure if she even knows the Tall One exists.


Upon entering the dim, abandoned building, presumably a residence of some sorts, I found my mark.  And a beautiful mark it is, long brown hair, glittering hazel eyes, nice ass, too.  Hehe.


I asked her to come with me, and she refused.  The absolute cheek of it!  I simply could not abide such rude manners and gave her a slice on the cheek to remember me by.  She cursed and spat at me.


And that was when I decided it was time to stop fuckin' around.


"Listen up, bitch.  I dunno what you think you're gonna do to get away, but even if you escape me in person, I'm always in your head.  Yeah, that's right, you know what I'm talking about.  You're just like me- you'll push anyone under the bus to make sure you come out a-ok.  Which is smart!  Good instinct.  And you've even learned to enjoy it, which is a big step!  I'm proud, for real.  But y'know, if there's one thing I can't deal with it's a liar.  Hate liars.  Fucking assholes piss me the hell off.  What gets me all fired up is how you're just like me and you don't even admit it!  You don't embrace it!  It ain't just a lie, it's a crying shame!  Wasted potential."


Ohhhh, she knew what I meant.  That look on her face...Man, I love being me.


"Aww, I think I know what it is!  You're afraid baby brother'll find out~ He'll look at his precious big sister and see a crazy bitch soaked in blood.  Can you picture that look?  HAHA!  I see you can!  Fear, confusion, sorrow...And disappointment.  Anger.  Betrayal.  Oh, it just EATS YOU UP, doesn't it?  Hahahahaha!"


Little liar screams at me to shut up.  Like fuck.


"That's why you can't stand to see my beautiful face!  Cause you look at me and see your own gorgeous face looking back.  With the eyes of a killer.  Run run run.  It won't go away.  Crawling, twitching, squirming thoughts, thoughts of the truth.  That truth no amount of time can bury.  That you and me, darling?  Are the same.  We both live for two things- ourselves, and watching other people SUFFER.  It's all we have left.  A match made in heaven, wouldn't you say?"


Screaming, clawing, I let her run away.  I certainly wasn't gonna get my suit wet with her wussy weeping, and she's already sloppier than ever at hiding her trail.  Won't be long now.  Not at all.